Allowing Your Children Their Own Path
After high school, my parents wanted me to join the military or get a job doing labor because I wasn’t quite sure what I wanted to do. I ended up taking some time off to find myself before entering college and figuring out what I wanted to do with my life. The fact I didn’t do what they wanted me to do and their lack of support for what I was doing somehow stayed in my head for a long time, however, and I felt for many years that I had let them down.
I’m not sure if my parents somehow felt threatened that I’d achieve more than them or if they truly believed those were the right paths for my life, but I think if I had their approval, I would have gotten to where I am now much earlier.
With my own children, I support any and all endeavors they choose to take and am their biggest fan, rooting them on from the sidelines. My only dream for my kids is to have them realize their own dreams. We are all here for a reason and I believe each of us can do something better than anyone else can. What that something is, is for each person to figure out on their own by trying as many things in life as possible, committing to the thing you were meant to do and never cease learning as much as you can about it.
Sure it would be nice to have a lawyer or doctor in the family, but with the right encouragement, you may not know what your children will become, but you can bet they will be happy and thankful for the chance to follow their own dreams.
Discussion Points:
- Did your parents encourage you to follow your own dreams or to follow the safe path?
- Did you take their advice? Do you regret doing/not doing so?
- Will you support your child’s dreams, regardless of your approval?
July 3rd, 2007 at 10:30 pm
For me my parents did not want me to get married as young as I did. I got married at 18 and already knew I wanted to have kids young as well. They weren’t exactly pleased with this, they wanted me to go to college and do all of that. Now I am still happily married for four years now with a two year old daughter and another baby girl due this month. I am extremely happy with the way things turned out for me. I am in school though now that I did it in my own time it is a lot more enjoyable than it would have been had I done what they wanted me to do. My family has always leaned more towards expecting us to do the college then a job then a family thing and that just wasn’t right for me. My husband is in the navy and they really wanted him to go to college instead of joining the service as well because they knew ultimately we would be together no matter what. But that wasn’t their choice either. My daughters will always have mine and my husbands approval and full support in whatever path they choose in life. If they want to do the college thing thats great and if not thats fine too. We will be proud no matter what! This was a great topic!
Victoria
July 4th, 2007 at 6:36 am
Thanks for visiting Victoria.
Sounds like there comes a time in all of our lives when not listening to our parents is the right thing to do. It’s kind of a shame that they don’t realize that as we grow up, maybe we actually know what we are doing or that intuitively, we know what is right or wrong for us.
I see so many parents having a hard time letting go. My girls are 10, 8 and 6 and though I love them with all my heart and spend as much time with them as possible, I’ve already started letting go in a way.
As I’ve said before, we should be raising adults, not dependent children.
Congratulations on everything, sounds like life is good down there in San Diego.
Happy 4th of July, hope it’s a memorable one.
Aaron
July 6th, 2007 at 9:51 am
Absolutely! Raising adults not dependent children. I couldn’t agree more! Although they start out young you want them to grow up and find their own way in life not to stick around and want to be your baby forever. As much as we say we want them to stay with us forever deep down that is just not true. I want my girls to grow and enjoy life. My daughter will be two in the end of this month and my other daughter will be born anytime this month I hope hehe. Hope you had as wonderful of a Fourth of July as I did!
July 6th, 2007 at 1:02 pm
So very true, Victoria. I honestly believe the sooner we start letting go, the more our children will enjoy being around us when they are adults and appreciate having the room to grow on their own.
The 4th was great. It got real foggy out here on the coast and dampened the firework display, but all in all it was a terrific day.
November 17th, 2007 at 9:50 pm
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