Fatherhood

The other night while my wife, Caris and I were eating dinner Caris said something totally out of the blue that made me spit up the water I was drinking. She told us when she gets older her boobies are going to grow big like an egg, open up and then she will have boobies like mommy. After the initial shock wore off I asked her if she heard that at school or did she just make that up. She claims she made it up but I find that hard to believe. Despite the fact that Caris is smart and inquisitive, her analogy seemed out of place for a three year old to make up. Perhaps an older girl at her daycare told her that. Either way, my wife and I laughed out loud for a few minutes.
The next day I got called into work and did not get home until late in the morning so I missed seeing her all day. My wife told me that Caris missed me. I was appreciative that I was missed by her. When she awoke for school or daycare, same thing, she told me that she “missed me so much last night” and she also told me, “I cried when you weren’t home last night daddy.” It tore at my heart but sometimes I am gone for long periods of time with my job.
Additionally, Caris hates to lose. She has to win at every game we play. I will accept that she wins, but eventually she will have to learn that losing is part of the process of life too. No one likes to lose and a lot of emphasis is placed on winning. I understand that concept, but a tell tale sign of maturity is if you lose at something, a grateful exit shows maturity.
One particular game we played she kept on wanting to win. Finally I asked her why she had to be first in a race or beat me in play fighting and any other games we play and she told me it was because she has to win.
Talk about control issues. Then I asked her if it was tough being a kid and she said yes because she wanted to be the boss. And then she told me she was going to be the boss later. I put my foot down on that one.
Hopefully she will learn the merits of playing to win but losing with style and grace because sooner or later even Tiger Woods loses