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Killing Rudeness With Kindness

by Aaron Emerson

Kids can be rude, but let’s face it. It’s a habit they learn from us. It’s true they pick up a few bad habits on their own at school, but rudeness just isn’t one of them.

If by the time our kids are school age they have learned to say please and thank you and wait patiently while you are on the phone, it’s pretty unlikely they are going to start being rude just because someone else’s kid teaches them in class. Young children are basically mirrors of ourselves. They may have slight personality differences, but they inherently do as they’ve seen. The old “monkey see, monkey do” adage comes to mind.

If on the other hand, our children have not learned politeness at home, not only will they do their best to convert their classmates, they will continue to get worse as most habits do when gone unchecked. This leads me to the kindness factor. If children are mirrors of our own behavior, at least when they are very young, kindness is a habit we can instill in our children before the rest of the world ever has their say.

If you’re children are rude, I’d honestly invite you to take a look at yourself. You may not like what you see, but it’s never too late. I’ve learned that having kids is about the closest we can get to actually seeing ourselves honestly if we accept our role in their behavior. In fact, I have a handy little equation I use to help improve myself. It goes like this:

____ parents = ____ kids

Put whatever word you want in the blanks, as long as it’s the same on both sides. If you are one who blames others before yourself, the solution is to flip the equation around. In the end, there’s really only two people to blame and you are one of them.

Discussion Points:

  • Were you a rude child?  Did it lead to being a rude adult?
  • Do you think habits are learned more at home or at school?
  • Do you believe you can change your child’s behavior by changing your own?

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