The Platinum Rule
I am told all the time how important the Golden Rule is. You know, treating others the way we’d like to be treated ourselves. I’ve always had a bit of a problem with that because inherently, we all want to be treated differently. I used to treat people like I’d want to be treated all the time, but rarely did it make that person happy. I’m a neat freak, very quiet at times and comfortable spending time alone. I can remember losing more than one girlfriend in my lifetime for cleaning up after them too much, not talking enough and letting them have time to themselves. Basically, the Golden Rule bit me in the butt.
A much better approach would be what is called the Platinum Rule. This rule dictates that we treat others the way they want to be treated. It’s actually so simple and obvious, it’s ridiculous. It almost makes me wonder how the Golden Rule came to be.
Having three children, I can attest to the fact that if I treated them all the way I wanted to be treated, there would be trouble. They are all different and expect different things from me. Over time, I’ve become very aware of what these things are, and now, I treat them the way they want me to treat them. One of my girls loves to be held constantly, one of them prefers roughhousing on a daily basis and the other is a bit more like me and appreciates quiet time. With the Golden Rule, I at best could only have made one of them happy, but having expanded on it and changed my behavior, I have become a much more successful and happy father.
Try it out and let me know what you think.
Discussion Points:
- Gold or platinum,which is better?
- Have you lost or annoyed someone from treating them the way you’d want to be treated?
- In what ways are your children different and how do those differences require your actions to change?
childhood behavior, platinum rule, fatherhood
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